Managing Stress During Life Transitions With Therapy

Why Life Transitions Are So Stressful

Whether you're moving cities, starting a new job, getting married or preparing to bring home a newborn, seasons of transition can be challenging and stressful. Sometimes we step readily into a new season of transition and others we are forced. Maybe your life transition is navigating grief or grappling with identity changes. Maybe your transition looks likes getting the role you always wanted only to find out that perhaps it's not the best fit. While transitions are usually a natural part of life, they can leave us feeling overwhelmed, uncertain and unsure of ourselves.

What's Really Happening Beneath the Stress

While it can be tempting to brush off what's happening psychologically when we are walking through a season of transition, I think it's really important to name what's happening to us. Transitions can interrupt our identity, our sense of control and predictability, and relationships and roles. It can cause us to experience feelings of unsureness which can dysregulate our nervous system.

Transitions can also bring up old patterns, wounds or beliefs. They can leave us feeling stuck, afraid and alone. When we take a step back to really acknowledge everything that's happening underneath the transition, it makes sense why so many of us struggle.

Common Signs You're Struggling During a Transition

Sometimes it can be easy to miss the severity of your struggle in the middle of a transition. It can feel like you're just in survival mode, trying to make it to the next day. Here are a few signs to look out for as you navigate your specific season of transition:

• Emotional signs: irritability, sadness, numbness, overwhelm, anxiety, panic, sense of hopelessness

• Cognitive signs: rumination, self-doubt, “should” thinking, changes in focus

• Physical signs: tension, sleep changes, fatigue, eating changes

• Relational signs: social withdrawal, conflict, feeling misunderstood, isolation

  
  

How Therapy Helps During Life Transitions

During a time of newness, it can be difficult to even think of adding something new to your plate. Maybe you're already connected to a mental health therapist or you're considering finding one. Having a place of support to help you process your mixed emotions can be invaluable. A therapist can help you name and validate your losses, even the invisible ones. Therapy can help clarify shifting values and priorities, identity changes and role transitions. Therapy can also support nervous system regulation and coping skills. Your therapist can offer you perspective and meaning making during uncertainty. Your therapist might incorporate psychoeducation, ground strategies, self compassion or boundary work. It's a safe space to be, to process, to learn and to receive support.

What To Look For In A Therapist During A Transition

If you find yourself wanting to begin therapy for the first time while navigating a life transition, there are a few things to keep in mind. A lot of therapists have online profiles that list their specializations and experiences. Look for someone with experience with life transitions, identity work or your specific season. For example, some of our therapists at Steady Hope specialize in perinatal counseling. These are our therapists who have received specalized training and have experience working with women as they transition into motherhood. Many therapists also offer free consult calls to determine if a client would be a good fit. Feeling emotionally safe and understood is a huge part of the therapeutic relationship. If you don't feel like you have that solid foundation first, it might make some of the future depth work difficult to do. It's crucial that you feel like you and your therapist are a good fit for one another. Additionally finding someone with a collaborative approach could be helpful in increasing your insight and helping you find a sense of empowerment.

Gentle Practices To Support Yourself In Between Sessions

While time spent in the therapy room can hold moments of healing and change, likely your sessions are only a small part of your week. What does it look like to support yourself in between your therapy sessions? Your therapist might give you tools or homework to practice outside of session, but let's think about how you can continue to support yourself daily.

1. Name what's changing and what's staying: in a season of transition it can feel like everything is changing suddenly and all at once. Pause, and take a moment to reflect and name what is in fact changing and what isn't. Maybe you're getting married and moving in with someone for the first time. That's a big change! However, maybe you're staying in the same city and in your same role at your job.

2. Create small anchors of routine: what are the parts of your day that leave you feeling most like yourself? Is it your morning coffee or mid day walk with your dog? Think about the habits that incorporate self care and identity. Maybe it's your weekly phone call with your sibling or the 15 minutes you spend at night before bed reading a book. Continue to make time for these small anchors. They will help ground you as you navigate so much newness.

3. Limit comparison during transitions: it's often said that "comparison is the thief of joy." Comparing your transition to someone else's robs us of the uniqueness of our own new season. A lot of us might even assume other people's transitions went perfectly smoothly leaving us feeling like we "should" have done ours differently. There is no right way to handle transition.

4. Allow yourself to hold both grief and growth: as humans, we often find ourselves trapped in black or white thinking. Rarely are our emotions black and white. Often they are complex and fluid. Change can be both good and hard. It doesn't have to be one or the other. Give yourself permission to embrace your new transition with joy and excitement while also holding grief. Allow yourself to gently hold your sadness while cognitively recognizing that you will grow from this change. Allow yourself to feel and feel it all.

   

You Don't Have To Navigate Change Alone

Life transitions can be deeply meaningful AND they can be hard even when they are chosen. It's okay if you don't have it all figured out in the middle of your change. Growth can coexist with uncertainty. Therapy can be a space to slow down, reconnect with yourself and integrate change. You deserve support in it all. Whatever transition you're navigating, you don't have to carry it alone.